I’ve been a bit M.I.A, simply because I did not know what to say.
The relationship that I was previously in ended and I shelled up with my thoughts. I started realizing that I was falling back into the same toxic patterns as with my ex-husband.
I OVER give people the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t listen to my gut.
I ignore red flags and thought to myself “it’s not that bad.”
It got me thinking that it was time I go into therapy to understand why I fall into these same patterns.
I realized the moment he stopped “showing up” and investing into the relationship, I started giving MORE.
Making more breakfasts in bed.
Cooking his favorite meals.
Planning his favorite activities.
Letting him sleep in 80% of the time, while I took care of the kiddos.
Paying for more things.
Trying to show and prove my worth… but at what cost?
It left me empty.
I was getting to the point of being burnt out again and I could feel that I wasn’t happy anymore.
When I tried to talk to him about how I felt, he would tell me that I was overthinking and that how I felt was unnecessary. I felt like my feelings were not valid and it caused me to close up.
It’s been a smidge over a week since that relationship ended (and via text mind you). Since then, I refreshed my space, dialed up my training schedule, put more time into work and got back into my self-care habits.
I feel more inspire and motivated to write.
Stay tuned for more. ❤